How about a Mile in My Shoes? Anyone?

Call me mean. I am not that patient.  Several years waiting for someone who doesn't think you are good enough to complement him is no joke. Or I am too good for you? LOL ... I can read actions pretty clearly.

But call me whatever you want, I honestly think you are wasting time. I like to keep myself busy and forget the problems I have but this one could not be ignored even by the best of us. That is why I have taken measures. Serious ones. Before you judge me, walk a mile in my shoes. But you can go ahead and judge. I don’t think it really matters anyway.
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 It is one reason I’ll always dislike living in that part of Kenya. Doom all the way. It’s like I do well elsewhere. But I will keep traveling there. I have friends there. I will see them as often as possible. But now that I know, there is no stopping me. Maybe I needed to know. A painful but necessary process. I think it was uncalled for.

I won’t forget that experience ever. I have learned something. I guess that has been the worst experience of my life. I don’t think anything can compare. Nothing rattles me anymore. I’ve seen it all. But life goes on.

Everything has an end. I admit that. Nothing is permanent in this God forsaken earth. I should have listened to you my dear. I now know what you know. And imagine it took me just a few years! Sorry, I cannot write your name.

I thought I knew better. Shock!!!

Why does someone think you will love him more when you are deprived of your very existence? Isn’t that desperation? If someone can only handle you when you are sick or beaten down, you call that love? God, no!!! That is why there are so many divorcees today (No offense). Such behavior chases away anybody…

 But looking back, I was never happy. Every time, I just cried because of something. Thank God, my eyes are now open, I see things clearly. And don’t come close to me feigning love when I’m over it. I am done. Get that. I don’t believe in love that hurts even before a date. No!!!

I believe you should only cry during a certain occasion. Maybe I am wrong. I don’t know but I have friends who have told me things. If you want to know what things, you can ask them yourself.  But I do know what it means to be loved properly.  The rest is just crap if it doesn’t fit that environment. It means nothing. I have my reservations and I will stick to them no matter what. Time heals all wounds. This one too.

But I know one thing, in order to make it, the sacrifices are insanely huge!!!

Moving on from Past Hurts …

Away from the sad note, I’d give anything to believe otherwise but it’s very tricky to get me there now.

Talk about being super charged. I think I was just charged then. Now, I’m something else.

But that won’t change the resilient me. I’m built to last no matter what. And I believe in second chances. But when I’m done, I’m done!!!

Anyway let me stop bragging. I’ve shed enough tears over this.

Maybe I was forcing something unnatural. Who knows!!! I wish I could glimpse into the future.

Wow! Words are just flowing and the way I was struggling in my previous post!!!

Talk about passion. That’s what makes the difference. If you find struggle in something, you lack passion.

Time to make amends for all the wrong choices. It has to be done now. No procrastinating anything.

I need a life now away from what I thought would be. I need a fresh start. A really fresh one. Thank God it is happening in October. Year ends always hold something special for me. I can’t ignore that. I hope I’m not jinxing it.

Funny October falls on a year end. What a year!!!

I know I am breaking enough hearts but it is time I lived my life. It is time I became my real self without outside influence. I have always been myself but I have been influenced greatly by many things. I put them down regardless of what may be. I want to be away from influences, and issues, and advice that is advice for someone else but me (I know good advice when I see or hear it) and anything else that proves it is not for me, I will shun. Yeah, I can be that mean with myself. I already love my new self. Sometimes, you have to baffle people to drive a point home.

I am tired of not knowing where I stand. Seriously, there were enough years to experiment on me. Now, time is up. I don’t add time. Not really. If you want to take risks, time’s up. Keep your cool. I am so done. I am simply encouraging myself. I need it.

I can’t believe I had to be sick to see this. My doc thought it was my experience with my ex. Shock!!! He’ll be surprised. I have baffled him. I have baffled myself. Sometimes, a bad experience can be a blessing in disguise. I still think it is uncalled for.

Talk of complication!!! I think I haven’t seen it all … it would be too much to handle!!!

Now, wrapping things up, I need to say this: never excuse anybody. Whoever they are. Let them own their mistakes and take responsibility for them. Of course you can help them. Your call.