What I Know

Yeah … I heard colors symbolize things like: blue means you are confident. Argue all you want, but it is kinda true. Now, I didn’t say blue was my favorite color, but it fits some things. Things are so many!!! Clothes, shoes, bags, houses, cars, toys, walls so many things … These are a few.

My colors? They are many and varied depending with things. I don’t think I have a favorite color. I’d be lying to tell you I do but I have, colors that define my favorites. I believe that every color should be matched to its something. Maybe that’s why  taste comes to mind. I will tell you to consider your taste. There is a reason for it.

Sometimes you may feel forced to acknowledge something, but you’d better stand firm. Nobody wants you to be complacent, hard as it is. It’s never about people anyway. It is about yourself. When you know your truth, nobody can rattle you. Be yourself and do not follow the advice of people who won’t have to live with the result.

It can be very hard to choose. Trust me. But, actions will always tell something about you. Whether you like it or not. I’m fooled easily, but you have no idea the guts I have. My mom told me I really trust people. I kinda do. I’m very careful now.  Trust me, If you thought you couldn’t handle me then, what makes you think you can now?

You’ve grown. Real mature. That’s what I call bullshit.

I will dangle a carrot in front of you. Eat it if you can. Yeah. I’m that complicated. And I'm not changing soon. If you thought I was complicated, you have no idea what you are up against. But you cannot mistreat me and expect me to trust you. Never!!! It just doesn’t work that way. And I don't date people I don't trust with my whole self.

Try experimenting on others. It may just work. Or maybe it works well until you meet me.

I’ll admit masculinity turns me on. Like seriously, but I’m very choosy about it. Not everyone revs my engine. Otherwise, I‘d be all over men. Well, those who’ll allow it. Thank God for that. But that doesn’t mean I will be a lonely soul. Not really. Whatever I wrote earlier was borne out of confusion. Frankly, when I’m with somebody, you feature nowhere. Maybe because of the rejection. Who knows!!! I guess I was just alone at that time. Misery was killing me. But now I'm myself again. If you cannot fight for me, you don't deserve me. Period.

Sorry for hurting your feelings. I feel sorry for that. I never thought it would come to this. Its my nature anyway. I am between a rock and a hard place and I can only do this to free myself.  Maybe you did that too. Whatever it is, I honestly don't care anymore. If you could live with yourself after that, man you are crazy. But, crazy is relative. Unfortunately, you hurt me bad. Yeah, I’ll be selfish because every time I am selfless, you end up being more selfish. I cannot handle that. We are just two different people. It was hard to accept, but finally I accepted this.

I know we share a lot of interests, but if it took this long to realize this, it is just sad. I don't know what else to say. Marry your kind. I'm different. I own it.

I don’t have an eye weakness. Maybe ear and I don’t have time for crap because of that. I really protect my ears. I protect my weak points because they can be my downfall if I let them.

Talking about mistakes. I have several up my sleeve, but there’s no way in hell I’ll disown them. They make me who I am.  And don’t think for a second there I’ll shout them on rooftops. No!!! You’d be mistaken to think that.

I call them mistakes because I don’t like them, and they are just that, mistakes. But make no mistake, I love myself  beyond death.

So seriously, move on. I can’t handle that crap so I’ll just find another person to love. Don’t mind my exes. I know I can do better now. I reached my limit in July. I meant it. Probably it is time I went outside my country to mingle. I will find someone who appreciates me.

I can’t believe I just did this (I have been forced to do this by my conscience), but I am confident I have made a wise decision. I can’t live a life of pain because of Love. No!!! I like happy.

Maybe I needed to find myself. And I have now. Too bad I wasn't good enough then. This is just sad. But I know one thing, never give in to a person who makes you think you are not good enough. You are a force to reckon with. Believe in you.