What I Know

Yeah … I heard colors symbolize things like: blue means you are confident. Argue all you want, but it is kinda true. Now, I didn’t say blue was my favorite color, but it fits some things. Things are so many!!! Clothes, shoes, bags, houses, cars, toys, walls so many things … These are a few.

My colors? They are many and varied depending with things. I don’t think I have a favorite color. I’d be lying to tell you I do but I have, colors that define my favorites. I believe that every color should be matched to its something. Maybe that’s why  taste comes to mind. I will tell you to consider your taste. There is a reason for it.

Sometimes you may feel forced to acknowledge something, but you’d better stand firm. Nobody wants you to be complacent, hard as it is. It’s never about people anyway. It is about yourself. When you know your truth, nobody can rattle you. Be yourself and do not follow the advice of people who won’t have to live with the result.

It can be very hard to choose. Trust me. But, actions will always tell something about you. Whether you like it or not. I’m fooled easily, but you have no idea the guts I have. My mom told me I really trust people. I kinda do. I’m very careful now.  Trust me, If you thought you couldn’t handle me then, what makes you think you can now?

You’ve grown. Real mature. That’s what I call bullshit.

I will dangle a carrot in front of you. Eat it if you can. Yeah. I’m that complicated. And I'm not changing soon. If you thought I was complicated, you have no idea what you are up against. But you cannot mistreat me and expect me to trust you. Never!!! It just doesn’t work that way. And I don't date people I don't trust with my whole self.

Try experimenting on others. It may just work. Or maybe it works well until you meet me.

I’ll admit masculinity turns me on. Like seriously, but I’m very choosy about it. Not everyone revs my engine. Otherwise, I‘d be all over men. Well, those who’ll allow it. Thank God for that. But that doesn’t mean I will be a lonely soul. Not really. Whatever I wrote earlier was borne out of confusion. Frankly, when I’m with somebody, you feature nowhere. Maybe because of the rejection. Who knows!!! I guess I was just alone at that time. Misery was killing me. But now I'm myself again. If you cannot fight for me, you don't deserve me. Period.

Sorry for hurting your feelings. I feel sorry for that. I never thought it would come to this. Its my nature anyway. I am between a rock and a hard place and I can only do this to free myself.  Maybe you did that too. Whatever it is, I honestly don't care anymore. If you could live with yourself after that, man you are crazy. But, crazy is relative. Unfortunately, you hurt me bad. Yeah, I’ll be selfish because every time I am selfless, you end up being more selfish. I cannot handle that. We are just two different people. It was hard to accept, but finally I accepted this.

I know we share a lot of interests, but if it took this long to realize this, it is just sad. I don't know what else to say. Marry your kind. I'm different. I own it.

I don’t have an eye weakness. Maybe ear and I don’t have time for crap because of that. I really protect my ears. I protect my weak points because they can be my downfall if I let them.

Talking about mistakes. I have several up my sleeve, but there’s no way in hell I’ll disown them. They make me who I am.  And don’t think for a second there I’ll shout them on rooftops. No!!! You’d be mistaken to think that.

I call them mistakes because I don’t like them, and they are just that, mistakes. But make no mistake, I love myself  beyond death.

So seriously, move on. I can’t handle that crap so I’ll just find another person to love. Don’t mind my exes. I know I can do better now. I reached my limit in July. I meant it. Probably it is time I went outside my country to mingle. I will find someone who appreciates me.

I can’t believe I just did this (I have been forced to do this by my conscience), but I am confident I have made a wise decision. I can’t live a life of pain because of Love. No!!! I like happy.

Maybe I needed to find myself. And I have now. Too bad I wasn't good enough then. This is just sad. But I know one thing, never give in to a person who makes you think you are not good enough. You are a force to reckon with. Believe in you.

Justification

I have been forced to write this post!!!  Help!!! I’m trapped by blog readers!!! I’m kidding.

If you are looking for advice here, you are joking. I write about stuff that happens on a daily basis (OK, not daily) through the eyes of real and crazy and twisted. By the way I have a good buddy called that. Twisted. I think the name is awesome.

Yes, there is advice here and there, but if I start to advise you, you’ll die a painful death. I don’t do advice to strangers. Only humor.  Seriously, I’m not your therapist. Live your life as you see fit. I also have issues that I don’t know how to handle, but I find it amazing writing about them and finding my own solutions.  I can breathe. I can be myself here. I can dissect issues as if I was in some sort of a lab. A writing lab. Sometimes I say things as they are. Sometimes I don’t. All in all, the eyes are yours. You choose what to read so that’s your problem.

If you find my blog weird, come we talk. Too late. The offer has expired.

Whatever you decide to pick here, don’t blame me. Blame yourself. Remember, you create your own destiny. I don’t do creation of destinies. But I write what I am thinking. And my thinking is insane. If you think like me, awesome. I like you already. But remember my mind is a battlefield. There is serious crap going on in there. I bet yours is too. Anyway, thank you for reading my blog anyway. I am thankful for that. Maybe someday I’ll go solo. For now, I like this giant called Google. He’s made me see far.

You ask why I use “he”. Well, I’m a she and hardcore into he’s. A he will use “she”. Whatever the case, I hope you get it. If you are waiting for an explanation, you are way out of line. By the way I love women, but I’m not a lesbian. I’ll never bash you. Not really. I am one. I am where I am because of some great women in my life. That’s a fact.

Take it as you would a diary. You don’t agree with everything but you read it anyway. It’s that simple. By the way you can justify anything in this world. Still, wrongs are wrongs and rights are rights. That’s the truth. So be your own judge in my blog mirror. I don’t know about you and I don’t know what you have been through. But you need to laugh.

I want you to laugh. Seriously, do not attempt suicide. It won’t solve your problems. It will leave people asking why you did it. I’d rather you drug yourself and sleep those bad thoughts off. And if I find you drugged I won’t help you. I will call the police. Drugs are not legal here.

I have a friend who’s been through a suicide and it is not pretty. I could only give one thing to her. She was devastated. No, devastated is an understatement. I don’t know what went through her mind, but I do pray for her. It is what I can do or give. I can’t resurrect dead people. God can.

Sometimes life can be a challenge, but we do what we can and forget the rest. I rest my case.

I know this is not funny. I don’t intend it to be. If you want funny, other posts are full of it. But funny will always be part of my life.

Without laughter, life will become dull. If you have nothing to laugh at, read my blog.

Being Female

English: Woman with navel piercing. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You want me to excuse myself for being female? Are you kidding me? Like it was something I had to choose. What’s wrong with you? Rant and rave all you want, but please ask me about things I had a say in. Don’t just open your mouth and belittle the female Gender. I’ll tell you that you are full of s**t. And I will mean it.

I am sensational.

I can make you do things you never dreamt you could do. Yeah, you tell me you are whatever it is you say you are (I wasn’t concentrating) but try to listen to this. Most giants listened and they became giants. If you think I am a joke, ask God. He told Abraham to listen. If you have no time for reading wide, don’t expect to be sensational.

I hear people diss Kim. And you think I am judgmental. Well, maybe it’s because she says things that leave a sour taste in the mouth, but you cannot compete with her entrepreneurial skills or I’ve forgotten what I wanted to write. Yes, I am talking of a Kardashian.  I don’t agree with most of her life decisions but she’s sensational in her own ways. Everybody has something to offer. Don’t be blind to it. I like her.

I may not agree with you on very many things, but I can still like or love you. I won’t hate you. Remember, there are stronger forces than man and woman.

I Run The World

That’s why I like Beyonce. I hate most of her songs, but she’s an enigma. Understanding her is hard. I like that. Even most of the female species don’t get her enigmatic self!

I’ll Confuse You

If only women knew the power they had!!! They like to compare themselves to female animals. You are unique. That’s one reason you are prettier than the male counterpart. Animals are not, like so. The male is so pretty. Never underestimate yourself. Most kingdoms fell because of a woman. And they will continue to fall … You don’t think there are any more kingdoms? Oh! You!!!

I Can Make You Happy

You have no idea what I am capable of but honestly, you can be very happy with me. If I choose to be with you, I won’t hurt you, but don’t be an a**, I will walk away. And watch you try to piece s**t together.

I won’t pity you. It has been a downfall of so many.

I Can Walk away

I’ve seen what divorces do to homes. It’s just sad. People talk. Let them. Sometimes it’s what is left to do. I won’t tell you to hang in there. No. I’ll tell you to kick a storm that has never existed before. Don’t sell yourself short.

I Can Multitask

This may come off as cliché but it can have serious implications if used wrongly. Yeah, so many women use it in the kitchen, but give me several weapons and try to duck!!! Maybe that’s why I don’t have a favorite color. I have several.

I remember that favorite question was just hard for me. But you just had to answer something. Passwords and hints and favorite colors are terrible. An experienced hacker cannot guess my answers.

I Am Woman

There are so many qualities I want to write here, but that will just leave you in a gray area. I’ll just confuse you more. Do your thing and mind your own business.

Maybe I Should Post Ben Carson’s “ Poem” Here. Well, technically it’s someone else’s, but because he’s used it in His best seller, let me call it his. I never said I’m into poems. I don’t mind them, but I don’t care for them. Carson understands a lot. And no!!! I don’t want to be a neurosurgeon. I honestly don’t get the brain!!! But I'll read any new book you decide to publish. Trust me.

I couldn't resist. The Urge was too great ...

Phenomenal Woman

By Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

The "K's" and Other Alphabets ...

"K" me all you want. I happen to not mind it if you are under 18. If you are over 18, It just tells me something about you.  I mean a "K"? Really? I will first think you are impatient and can't grow up and I'm seriously boring you. Then think of you as shallow and finally not give a damn. That's just me.

Yeah, I know you don't mean potassium but I seriously don't do single alphabets. I don't speak this wierd alphabetic language. I'll never "K" you. Stick to your mates. "K" them all you want. I'm sure they don't care. Stop crossing over with that language. Grow up please. Don't age with alphabets. They won't age with you!

You know, I do use FYI. A friend of mine used it and it grew on me. I won't stop because that sentence is awkwardly long! But two alphabets? C'mon.

If you use one alphabet I'll pretend I didn't get what you said. Unless you're my close buddy. There's an exception to the rule, of course.

Seriously, keep the alphabets to yourself. I'm not a text maniac!!! And even if I was, I'd not use one alphabet. Trust me.

Anyway, I understand anybody younger than 18. Enjoy your phone. A time will come when you won't have time to text long words and you will have to if there's no universal francophone for abbreviated alphabets. But put an effort on words like OK. I can't believe I am telling you this!!!

You know, I guess an automated keyboard is not so bad but it makes typing so insanely hard!!! You get used to being handed over words until you can't do anything sensible with any machine. You need to clear your head and tell yourself that "This is no phone!!!"

But "K" is hilarious! And if you K me, I will Z you. Find a compound for that!!!

A Letter to Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey as Count Olaf in the 2004 film. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi Jim. You remind me of someone you cannot easily forget unless you are crazy. I must say you are hilarious. Frankly, I’ve never seen a more hilarious person. The funny ones just read scripts or maybe they are yet to be discovered.

I know you like the name Tom, a lot. In most jobs, you like being called Tom. Like Tom Ace or Tom Popper. I’m sure I’m not wrong.  But why Tom? Maybe a Tom did something for you that you cannot forget. Maybe. That’s a wild guess.

You know my friend thinks you are funny and I second that. I agree 100%. Jesus! TV has never seen a funnier soul and I doubt you are replaceable. Well, I know people will disagree with me but that’s fine. Honestly, they (actors and actresses) read from scripts and their lives aren’t ruined because they are hilarious.

And no, they don’t have it together. Not really. It is a problem with many people, me included. I should work on that (let’s make this aha! moment, a mental note).

Hands down, you are one funny person. TV can’t disagree with me because they know it to be true. I honestly don’t know your real life but I’d like to think you are phenomenal.

I get why you were divorced. I’m totally with you on this. No judgment coming from me because I’d do the same if I was in your wife’s position. I like to watch you be funny but I honestly cannot live with you under the same roof unless there is a partition of some sort whereby I don’t ever see you (usicatch). (Translation: Don’t get personal because of what I’ve said. Someone will ask me how you are supposed to take it. My answer: You never get personal, I know that but if you do, pretend it’s a bad dream.) Seriously, you never see the serious side of things. And that’s okay with me because I am a spectator and your fan.

Life can get seriously complicated. I get it. Don’t worry. We all go through that phase. You are not alone.

And no! I’m not advising you. It’s your life. Do whatever you see fit.

But thank you for being yourself. This world has enough fake people. Thank you for not making the pool bigger. (Yay! No cussing) I should buy myself a nice dinner somewhere special (mental note). Operation: progress!

I know “furious 6” is funny thanks to scripting but you are one of a kind. Oh! Don’t get me wrong, I had to see Vin in action. I like him. There are many funny movies, I know, but yours are downright funny. I think there is something unique in you that others can’t copy. And I have decided to be that. What cannot be copied. Myself.  By the way, thank you.

Names keep popping up in my head but it seems scripting is the big trick to humor. Know that you are unique. One in 7 billion. I don’t care whether funny has a price tag or not. It’s called a break for some reason.

Spielberg comes to my head. He never disappoints. But funny is not his strong suit. Anyway, he deserves a medal.

I bet you have no idea that you touch lives but you do. Don’t stop now.

Why is this post short? Its shortness has got nothing to do with the subject. Stop assuming.