The Beggar Who Arrived in Style …

This was a newspaper headline in US. I want to cry because my people die like fleas whereas their money is being squandered by politicians and their impossible lifestyles. I want to laugh at this insane frivolity. I can’t laugh and cry at the same time. I am not crazy. I may cry later or not. But, most likely, I won’t cry.

I call that lifestyle impossible because the people in question cannot sustain it unless they become corrupt. Money can really corrupt. Most people let money be the boss instead of being the boss over money.

Yeah, there are police officers who are billionaires (of course, not in dollars. This information will suck the life out of someone) in this country. It is one story to explain your gains legally. You got your gains in business and you can explain how? Okay. It is another story to guess. You have no idea how you became rich? Is this a joke?

People die every day. Some die because they went hungry. You prevented that food from reaching them and now you are rich. My friend, curses will make you wish you left that money alone. You are a dead man walking.

But carry on if you do not feel tormented. After all we can’t be all good. No way! I just hope to never meet you in this life or the next!

Here is what happened:

Kenya happens to get struck with hunger issues. To be honest, I am barely affected by this because I live elsewhere away from hunger but I do worry about the hunger struck. Okay, worry is a strong word. It hits me that things are spiraling out of “control”. It is a sad affair. It is also very wrong. People die of hunger in large numbers. I am not asking you to intervene. Only God can do something. Nothing short of a miracle will do. Let the affected people come up with self-sustaining strategies. On this note, Red Cross, I love your “Boma” Idea.

 I tell you, if you can hire a room for a month in Boma, you have paper, my friend.

You cannot help anyone by giving him a fish every day. Instead, teach him how to fish.

If the lake, river or whatever is far, death cannot be very far!

Anyway, apply this tip as per where you are. There are people who take it literally. If you are far from a lake, use your brain. Why are you afraid to think?

To the Red Cross haters, feed those people every day with three meals a day, we see how far you are going to go.

Now, let me say something about hunger and politicians.

Our politicians are greedy. Very greedy. They would rather spend the taxpayer’s money buying jets for themselves than solve starvation problems. Yeah, I wonder what they go to discuss in boardrooms. I am guessing they talk of how to further sink this country into debt! Maybe they just play cards. Who knows?

Of course debt will always be there if a country keeps asking for food! You know, it is a shame for an agricultural country to ask for food. I mean, Israel is a desert and they import soil and plant food. Hell, they export the food too! One word; stunning!

No country in the world can outdo Israel. Even the agricultural states pale in comparison.  

Lord, have mercy on us! Because we simply cannot compare with Israel! These people just amaze! You know, where God is, good things are abundant. Look around you, you can tell.

I know everyone has problems of their own but you can look at some problems and know that the management has issues! The management here is the politicians. They manage this country. Somehow!

Okay, they claim to manage this country but they don’t do squat. If that is the definition of being a sophisticated leader, I do not want to be a politician.

Disclaimer:

Not all politicians are bad but the rest (they are many in number) have created such a bad name for them that it is normal to call politicians, terrible people.

That winds up the disclaimer. Don’t overdo disclaiming!

On matters of death, our politicians have become so immune to it that when people die of hunger, they marvel. They do not understand how anybody can die of hunger! The shock registered on their faces is not because they care. It is because they can’t wrap their brains around what just happened.

I am not saying that dying of hunger is okay. But, I guess people are different. You do not expect me to be someone else. I can’t be. How now? I am merely saying that the hungry need feeding. This is a gaping failure at politicians. But, they have so many failures that this is just a drop in the ocean.  This is not okay.

Here is really what happened:

Once upon a time, the then president of Kenya hired a concord to bring maize/corn to the country. Yeah, you read that right. He hired a concord. Of course, it is always taxpayers’ money that does things like hiring high-end planes.

He tried. I know politicians who can buy Concords that are rarely used by maize/corn. By the way, nobody uses them, ever! They are just sold at auctions because they have no use. Oh! People are still starving. That hasn’t changed.

Thank God, those airplanes are no longer in production.

It surprises me when people complain about the successor’s style. Guess what; maybe you’d do a shoddy job if you were in his shoes. He was frugal to the point of making some countries complain that they are getting squat. I think this was a great move. You have to know who’s for you and who’s just a parasite.

Sometimes, the parasite you thought was a parasite needed you to help out then they’d remember you when they were able. But, sometimes, parasites are just parasites. They need you to survive. Cutting them off is a great idea. You may look bad but so what?

Given the history of this country, parasites are many. One just has to be careful. Any strings and your country will be dead soon enough.

The successor had his faults like anyone else (who said that your leader needs to be perfect?) but up until now, the changes he pioneered are still echoing in this country. He was a Godsend. People needed to be jostled from their self-induced sleep.

Anyway, Concords!

Now my question is: How do you hire a concord to fetch something you begged for? You must be a lunatic. Man, you need to get your priorities in order!

But, given the bad history, the actions will always tell you that this person was a joke!

Never complain if you are called a beggar arriving in style. I mean, how do you beg and then show up in a concord? What is wrong with you?

Anyway, the headline was talking about another time when this former Excellency visited the country he borrowed from, in a concord! Christ!

Heaven and Hell

Since I am about to say something contentious, let me take this opportunity early in advance to absolve myself of any wrong doing. Understand that humans will always be humans…

Now, after knowing that whatever you may think or have as evidence is not admissible anywhere (leave alone a court of law), let us jump right into insanity and forget reality for once. At least the reality we know. And no, I never said these two places do not exist. I’d rather find out they don’t exist than to find out they do and I was just being an ignoramus. Take it like electricity. It does exist but try explaining that to a layman. I tell you, charges aside, you will sweat!

There are some things that are just too complex to explain. In fact, when a question is posed about such matters, the answer is usually inconclusive. Sometimes, the answer is just bad. I mean, shallow.

So, hell;

I don't respond very well to threats. I find them stupid. I won't threaten you. Just point out a few things.

Somebody once told me that hell would be a lot of fun. Personally, I’d like to believe something else, not fun. Anyway, fun is relative.

Imagine the disaster management team there and the firefighters! There will be teams to deal with the fire and manage widespread disaster.
Let me spoil your humor. Apparently, water used to bubble up the earth and water the earth. Scientists were told it would rain. I'm sure they took this info like a joke. Tell me, where on earth does water bubble up the earth to water it? Shock! It rains!

Apparently, these people have the know how of what lies in hell. What this person forgot is that there are no equipments! Maybe he meant it as a joke.There is unity otherwise the demons would have started a very serious war with each other! So, I guess teams will enjoy togetherness.

A famous comedian once enacted hell. He said he’s the Devil and that lawyers and pillagers should form a line. Of course, he mentioned murderers and other wrong doers. Let me not buzz kill it for you. Look for it on YouTube. You cannot miss it. Just search hell comic on YouTube.

I don’t get why people hate lawyers that much. They may squander your cash but, you don’t stand a chance in court without one. Admit it, those people are bright. They know the law. You don’t. Unless you did your bar exam and passed and got licensed and you do not want to be a lawyer.

But, all professions like to look down on each other. I got used to that a long time ago, and I really don’t care about things that don’t interest me. That does not mean you can do without the professions being looked down upon. Love them or hate them, they are here to stay. I think where they end up is none of your business. Stop meddling.

I believe the trick is to let people be. Lawyers have a special place in hell because someone said so. His word is not law. It can be ignored. Imagine your profession killing you in the end. So why was the calling there in the first place? Can someone explain that to me because I honestly don’t get it.

I know ambulance chasers give the rest of the lawyers a bad name but every profession has greedy people. Why pick on lawyers?

It is like greed is the order of the day for some people. Such greed is sickening! Nowadays, people have gone completely berserk over money.

That reminds me of someone. He’ll beat up a tout because of an eighth of a dollar!

I couldn’t understand it. Touts without dreams don’t go very far. If you see one who steals your hard earned money, let him keep it if you can. Chances are that he’ll be robbed too. Probably beaten to an inch of his life. Let him have the last moments with your money. He needs it. Seriously.

Yeah, you’ll feel bad but let it go. The one who robbed you has no idea of what is in store!

Anyway, I got answered. Apparently, the beater feels that (ameonyeshwa madharau )(Translation:he’s been (How do I translate this?) shown contempt)I actually had to use Google translate. That one was hard.

Unfortunately, the drama keeps unfolding in different scenarios but, there are no gains only one ego comes out feeling better and the other one battered.

Oh, he does get his exact change in the end (If you have to beat someone for measly coins, that does not count as a gain) and goes home feeling like he’s the man amidst blood-stained clothing. I pity whoever gets to do the laundry!

If I can only be there to enjoy the show! And, the guy will not take your money even if you give him a dollar to calm down! He wants blood when he wants it. Dangerous type if you ask me!

No wonder people shoot each other in traffic jams! Very petty nonsense! If you follow such proceedings, you will discover that the root cause was something very small that angered someone who decided that a gun could solve all his or her problems! I’ve never seen such a bad idea! I doubt one other exists that surpasses that one!

 I am sure that hell has a place for such greed. Even the commonest of people have bad seeds in them and they deserve hell fire! So don’t pick on people’s profession. If you don’t like them, don’t use them. Someone will, eventually.

I think the fire that will be lit there will baffle even the very best firefighter and disaster manager. Feet will scamper! Unfortunately, head to bigger fire without knowing it! Shudder!

Anyway, that’s just me. I have no idea what you are thinking.

Heaven;

I don’t want to sound skeptical but I hear this place is the opposite of hell. No profession will be needed here. I mean, professions are for earth. Who needs representation there? Who needs medical care there? Who needs anything that is not already thought of there?

I want a corner of heaven. Just a corner. No one has to know me. No one has to bother with me.

That place sounds better than anything I’ve heard of. It doesn’t look like a lie. I know a lie when I see one.

Sometimes, I may look insane to you. Maybe, I am. And guess what? I like it.

Letting it go, does not mean you are stupid. Maybe you are planning a very serious retaliation. Who knows?

By the way, forgiving looks plain to the eyesight but it is a fierce revenge in itself. Actually, nothing can compare to this …

Like in the case of a cheater. Forgive him or her. It will eat at them slowly. You will feel wasted but, that person will regret his or her action for life. You will reap in plenty for your pain. Let him or her keep the side dish but, walk away if you can. In this era of incurable STI’s, worry, pain and many other vices, it is best to let that person go. You will be happier.

Forgiving does not mean you put up with crap you can do without. You are not a puppet. Let go and forgive. Be free.

Let disaster management teams’ deal with their disasters in hell. I mean, why trade serenity with disaster? No way!

Unfortunately, there is no known way to get there. You just have to have faith.

If you have no idea what faith is, my friend, you are just lost.

Repent!

Birthdays …

I heard the famous “happy birthday song” was patented! (Woi!) (Translation: an exclaimation sound. Feel free to substitute with “Gosh”. It will sound almost like a real exclamation would). Now, what should people sing?

The good thing is that I guess at home it is okay to continue singing whatever song you were singing. On air, you’ll be jailed.

Because law is just a game (which we lose to richer folks) we like to play when things are going awfully wrong, you may be fired and the station allowed to thrive since people believe that it is better to sacrifice one person than an entire station. And imagine your boss told you to sing on air! And he or she is not fired like you! Don’t think whatever befalls you lands on your immediate superiors. No! By the way, in most cases, you end up being the fall guy. Yeah, … it is sad!

But, being the fall guy is not so bad. If you look at it, these are the people who make it big. They leave dents that show they were forces to reckon with. Of course, at the time of firing, you felt like the world was against you.

Well, it was but it depends with you attitude. You can comeback from anything that is not death. I hear some people beat death at its own game! Geniuses, I tell you. I’m serious! I’m not joking.

Back to patents. Tell your boss to air that part because you don’t want to risk your career! I hope you have a good boss else this will be your ticket to the streets! Tread carefully! …

Why are you singing a patented song? Like I said, ignorance is no defense in a court of law. And unless you bought rights to the song (I highly doubt it), hell has never been so real!

Radio presenters are doing a shoddy job in singing an assortment of “birthday songs” that haven’t yet been stamped with the patent mark. I’ve never heard such bad croaking! Even toads and frogs do it better.

If anyone was sacked because of bad singing on air, they deserve it. Seriously, why are you singing and you are just bad at it?

Nowadays, it is just hard being on air! If someone’s birthday is being commemorated, just use noise cancelling devices! If you get an earful of bad music intended for the birthday of whomever, don’t say you weren’t warned.

I even think that part of aired birthdays will be song less soon or it will be cancelled. Cancelled because the masses felt it disturbed their peace.

Now, I am not against birthdays. I love those unique days. Someone special was born on that day. If that person turned out to be bad, it is not the fault of that day. Not really. Blame the bad decisions and the poor choices on that person not that day. Unless it is an unlucky streak. Of course, the people nearby can judge for themselves.

Anyway, birthdays are good. Totally! (Let me misuse that word!)

I think they should be celebrated by those around you. By around, I mean people who know that it is your special day. People who care.

It is just that media houses are spoiling the fun. I think media houses should just stay out of it. I mean, entirely! It is just sad listening to awful voices trying to sing someone a happy birthday song. I am sure these people singing these birthday songs are just sad doing it.

The person who patented the signature birthday song didn’t think about the implications of his actions. So many people are singing illegally!

Anyway, it was just a thought …

Imagination

Destination: Imagination (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(For lack of a better picture, this one will do. I can't seem to update anything without a photo ...)

After the last post, I have no idea if I am funny anymore! It is like dementors sucked the hilarity out of me. Anyway, just kidding. I know for a fact that I can die if I met such things, imaginary or not. Thank God they don’t exist. I’d rather deal with non-existent stuff like werewolves and vampires and dragons given a choice. Ok, maybe I am sick to wish so bad.

I have a thing for strangeness. I doubt if I will change anytime soon. I find it unique and thrilling. But, sometimes common is good. Everyday needs common not strange. You know, strange really makes people stare and that’s a sure recipe for seeking attention. They stare because they don’t get it. But, if you are happy doing strange stuff, go ahead. After all, it is your life. Just don’t call obnoxious strange. That’s just lame. Go ahead and be strange but don’t step on people’s toes while at it.

I think J.K R is just gifted. I can’t even begin to describe the gift. That reminds me, I have to re-watch “The Gift”. Why those words are in those things (pardon my forgetting. I am sleepy as hell), I have no idea. It just looks right. I want to say semi-colon, but that’s not right. Apostrophe? Nah … Imagine, I cannot remember what those things are called.

Oh, well … I will remember with time. I don’t see why I should kill myself trying to remember! It won’t help me anyway … and that’s a big lie because those things are already bugging me! What is their name!

As I try to remember, I can save time by writing something. The name will dawn on me at a very bad time. A time when such a name will be moot.

I believe imagination is everything. It is the beginning of new ideas and new everything. Maybe that is why I have a serious problem with vintage. There is no imagination whatsoever! That imagination has been recycled until it has become dull. Where is the life?

Unfortunately, when imagination outlives its usefulness, it becomes a dull experience. Is it me, or is this true?

Nothing lasts forever. This is both good and bad. Good for the vices, bad for the virtues. Bad for imagination! But, as long as rekindling exists I think we can survive.  The future generation can. The human race is hardy. It has survived plague, Hitler, Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Aids, e.t.c.  It will survive Ebola. That’s just a passing storm.

Anyway, I do not want to survive. I want to live. I can read about survival stories on the net while living. Yeah, that looks selfish ,but I think I’ve had my fair share of storms. Let others battle out the rest. Storms come in various degrees. I can do 1° on a scale of 100°.

Back to Imagination.

Imagination has never let anyone down. Of course, people will laugh when they first encounter an idea that looks stupid, but they later adopt it line, hook and sinker. Seriously, if those terrible fashion ideas make it to the runway, awesome ideas have to make it to heaven.

I am not saying that the runway has crappy ideas (don’t get me wrong). Some ideas are just out of this world. I believe there is serious talent in some people who never made it in Heidi’s show. Jesus! I can’t even compete there! I don’t have that designer talent. I can collapse from the choosing of the material.

Just let those people be! I’m content to admire the finished product. Call it imagination. Those people imagined a finished product that really rocked. I couldn’t imagine the material, the weird drawings, the tucks and nicks and anything that went into the finished product. I just admired the end product.

But, a lot went into whatever end product. Maybe that’s why handmade things are so costly. Anything from a factory is quite affordable. I mean, the assembly line has made production so simple. But, if you follow the chain of assembly, you will find that the designer is very important. These factories know the value of these people. Factories that don’t know, don’t last very long. I mean, I can’t buy a hideous product. I bet you can’t too. You will feel wasted!

That is the reason best sellers work on the outward appearance. It is called a best seller for a reason. That should tell you that talent alone works for a time. You have to top dress it. Make it look good. If Kenyan athletes don’t style up soon, they will be running down Bomet Hills!

Styling up means you wear athletic shoes, athletic clothes, athletic everything … I think I saw someone run once on bare feet. That’s a joke! Total lack of imagination. Given a choice, that person would have ran naked!

I am not picking on athletes. That’s just how the world works. It is not fair, but I doubt the world knows what fair is.

Let me talk about something else that Kiyosaki mentioned. Books! You can be a talented author but if you never make your book a best seller, don’t expect people to buy your book in large numbers. I think there is a point here. But chasing the coin is just a futile exercise. There is more to life than this. However you look at it, life is dynamic.

Very dynamic.

Use your imagination. It is also dynamic just like life is dynamic!

Quotation marks! I told you I’ll remember the name when it is just moot!