Today’s Safari

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OMG! Today I’ve had the pleasure of walking with a Muslim and a Christian. I must say the Christian sucks. No wonder women run to be married as second, third and fourth wives by Muslim men. The guy I had the pleasure of meeting is called Mohammed. Kudos Mohammed. I must say you are one real person.

Thank you for telling me you are man born of woman. Thank you for telling me you do not intend to rape me. I should have laughed but that was really something. I guess I’m used to bad people until I don’t see the good side anymore. On a lone road, its dark and you are there waiting for your friend. You  deserve a medal. Thank you for not trying to woo me. I would look at you with a look that suggests … like seriously?

Wow! I wish all people had your decency. A half-caste who is a god. You mean these people exist? I am still processing that information. I still can’t believe there are good people like you. And no I’m not changing religions. I have met Christians who are real and that is something rare these days. They made an impression on me and that cannot change. Why? You’d ask. It’s just the way it is. I’ll tell you.

And you told me that people are different. I agree. They are as varied as the palm of our hands. Word!!! You are so on point. If only your partner copied you. He’d win more souls than anyone I know.

You have talked of Job. I must say that was spot on. But I’m no Job. He’s a hero. I’m barely there. But whatever you told me was true and I couldn’t agree more.

Thank you for the support. Thank you, you did not judge me. I’ve been judged a lot for my hair. Sorry for saying this but I care less. I’m not a Muslim and thank you for not forcing me to be one. But I know I must change to be accepted by your people. I’m not changing any time soon. Well, they say Moslem (what English is this? British or American?) … whatever.

Anyway, I feel encouraged. I won’t tell you to be a Christian but I honestly love all you said. That Christian friend of yours is misusing that name. He’s not 4 real. Just trudging along with the other faithful. But who I’m I to judge? I’m a joker. I know!!! I just hope I haven’t been somebody’s downfall otherwise I’m no good too. You on the other hand are not human. You are too good to be human. Maybe I was talking to an angel and I didn’t know it.

Jesus!!! I’ve put Milo with tea. I hate that drink. Sorry, I have to go make a new one now. But I really appreciate your kindness and everything you said. It has been memorable meeting you. Now, I feel bad for saying what I said in my earlier post about your religion. I don’t agree with it but I do love what it has done to you. Forgive me please. I’m not God.

A Letter to Captain Jack Sparrow …

Jack Sparrow (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

First I want to wish you a long and happy life. I love Pirates of the Caribbean and I’m glad it made you super rich. I know you said you have a daughter that you have no idea what to do with all your earnings. I honestly don’t care what you decide to do but invest in her. I know you understand what I mean. By the way I didn’t know how to spell Caribbean. I was putting double “r” instead of double “b”. I know you are not a real pirate but I hope all captains are like you. Okay the wishes were horses thingy do apply but whatever …

I know I am pissing someone off but too bad. Stop reading this, breathe ten times and move the fuck on. You know the beauty of your movie is that it has no abusive language. I’ll try to be subtle. I promise.

Now, I really wanted you to die in the end but I’m glad you didn’t. Bootstraps son took your place. You should be glad. What was his name again? Yeah, Will Turner.

And that other captain, the one without one leg, what’s his name again? He played his role nicely but you are my all time favorite.

Drink up, me hearties, yo ho … I know you recognize that song. Elizabeth (Miss Swann) sang it once. On a ship. And so did you in the end.

At one time, she couldn’t breathe. Her dress was too tight and Commodore Norrington thought she was nervous. At this point I must laugh.

Remember these conversations?

First guard to Capt. Jack Sparrow: This dock is off limits to civilians.

Capt. Jack Sparrow: I am terribly sorry. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.

XOXO----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Captain Jack Sparrow: Where did you get that? (Looking at a Pirate’s coin on Elizabeth’s neck)

Commodore Norrington: (With sword to Sparrow’s neck) on your feet.

Governor Swann: Elizabeth, are you alright?

Elizabeth: Yes, I’m fine.

Governor Swann: Shoot him (Covering Elizabeth with his coat and asking his guards to kill Captain Jack Sparrow)

Elizabeth: Father!

Gov. Swann: What?

Elizabeth: Commodore … do you intend to kill my rescuer?

Capt. Jack Sparrow: (turns to first guard and motions a Thank you)

Commodore Norrington: I believe thanks are in order.

Captain Jack Sparrow: (Stretching out his hand to Commodore Norrington.)

Commodore Norrington: Had a brush with the East Indian Trading Company, did we? Pirate?

Captain Jack Sparrow: (Says something I couldn’t understand)

Gov. Swann: Hang him.

Commodore Norrington: (To the guards) Keep your guns on him.

Gillette, fetch some iron.

                                                (Taking Sparrows hand and examining it)Well, well. Jack Sparrow, isn’t it?

Capt. Jack Sparrow: Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please, sir.

Commodore Norrington: Well, I don’t see your ship Captain.

Capt. Jack Sparrow: I’m in the market Sir, as it were.

First Guard to Commodore Norrington: He said he’d come to commandeer one.

Second guard to First Guard: I told you he was telling the truth.

Second guard to Commodore Norrington: These are his, Sir.

Commodore Norrington:  No additional shot, no powder; a compass that doesn’t point north; (Pulling Captain Jack Sparrow’s sword out of its sheath) And I half expected it to be made of wood!

Captain Jack Sparrow: (Smiles Vaguely at Commodore)

Commodore Norrington:You are without a doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.

Capt. Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.

Commodore Norrington: (Grabs Jacks hand and pulls him to one side of the ship)

Elizabeth: (Walking swiftly towards Commodore) Commodore, I really must protest.

Commodore to Lieutenant: Carefully, lieutenant.

Elizabeth: Pirate or not,this man saved my life.

Commodore: One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.

Capt. Jack Sparrow: Though it seems enough to condemn him.

Commodore: Indeed.

Capt Jack Sparrow: (With his shackles on Elizabeth’s neck) finally.

Elizabeth: (Shrieks)

Gov. Swan: No!!! (To guards)No! Don’t shoot!

Capt. Jack Sparrow to Elizabeth: I knew you’d warm up to me.

Capt. Jack Sparrow to Commodore: Commodore Norrington, my effects, please. And my hat.

                                                                (Commodore is unsure of what to do)

Capt. Jack Sparrow: (Shouting) Commodore!!!

Commodore: (Turning to guards while guard no.1 brings Capt. Jack Sparrows effects)

Capt Jack Sparrow to Elizabeth: It is Elizabeth isn’t it.

Elizabeth: It’s Miss Swan.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Miss Swan, If you’d be so kind.

Come, come dear. We don’t have all day. (Elizabeth takes Capt. Jack Sparrows effects and put them on the pirate Capt.)

Easy on the goods, darling

Elizabeth: You’re despicable.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. We’re square.

Gentlemen, Milady, you’ll always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.

Blah blah ...

Commodore Norrington: Gillette, Mr. Sparrow has made an appointment with the gallows. I’d hate for him to miss it …

Jeez, I am already tired from all this commentary. Scriptwriters do get tired!!! God!

You know you are Captain even in death, Sparrow? I need to laugh. Honestly, you make my days memorable. Well, days that I get to see your red band and craziness. And I don’t care how old this movie is. I’ve watched it so many times. It’s a classic.

Lose the rum addiction. God!!!

And stop calling the cracken a terrible beastie. Like seriously?

And that paint that makes you look like you are staring instead of blinking is awesome. I wouldn’t have thought of that.

And stop telling Turner that Elizabeth should be responsible for her mistakes. She did it for you. Remember?

Well, this is just a tip of the iceberg. Remember your first death? Or should I call it reincarnation? You got replaced by the 2^nd captain who owns a stupid monkey. Yes, Captain Barbossa.

Elizabeth killed you? Why do I not feel sorry? Anyway, you are not dead.

Picking your crew was super hilarious. You need to fall in love with Mr. Gibbs. That guy really loves you. I’m not telling you to be gay. Just be pirate buddies. I want to say bros but that is super gay. I hear guys talking about it and one word comes to mind, gays! And stop being scared by Ragetti (the guy who keeps dropping his fake wooden eye).Pintel, ah, the friend’s name. Cotton’s parrot, well thank you for keeping him, he’s not so bad.

Admiral Beckett? Really? There was no one available for that slot? No Briton available? That guy has acted as the first suitor to Elizabeth in Jane Austen’s masterpiece. I forget his name. I hate him. It’s awesome he got what he deserved in the end. Good business my foot!!! But you deserve credit because if I loved you, then your role would be useless.

And that octopus, Jesus! He’s hideous but I love the “Do you fear death” part. He’s a natural. Ah! Yes! David Jones. I don’t like the back thingy. It makes him more hideous. And his claw! Jesus!

Calypso … too bad she means nothing to you. She’s everything to Jones. But Jones is a fool only wanting more crewmen and recognizing Calypso in the end.

Chartman? Hehehe …

So Barbossa doesn’t understand your Locker plans. Just say you are plan-less. Since when does Capt. Jack Sparrow have plans? And no!!! I didn’t say you are stupid.

And that part of Elizabeth and the Gov. Swann tore me to pieces … was that part necessary?

Remember Parle? The parrot said that to the monkey when you guys decided to point guns at each other. And you said it when pirates around you looked at you because you backed the war.

The telescope war was hilarious. Capt. Jack Sparrow, see a doctor ASAP.

The Brethren court … whatever!!! Captain didn’t like the idea Barbossa. I didn’t either but you say you are Captain too not chartman… get a ship seriously. Yours has been owned by Sparrow and trust me, he’s obsessed with ships … or you can fight for it and lose.

And Sao Feng … well, what the hell happened to your face? Jesus!!!

Captain Turner, I like you. Burden to bear?...We both know that is not original.

Captain Jack Sparrow wants to be saved because he’s missed. I am still processing that line… Of course you are missed by everyone who loves you but not your crew. Well, the ones with emotion and the monkey. C’mon, they are pirates.

And David Jones is an old friend which you survived even after the doubts. Always put that in mind. Well you can close your eyes and pretend it’s a bad dream. It’s how you get by, Capt. Jack Sparrow.

And those glasses should be given to toddlers if they are still there. People toast in those? That’s a bad joke, right?

Barbossa, your words are real. Honor is a hard thing to come by nowadays.

Anyone who trusts the Captain for anything else except to charter the waters is doomed. We both know it. I am talking of Captain Jack Sparrow.

James or rather Norrington. I forgot your rank. You were right. It’s liberating to know that your destiny was entwined with Elizabeth’s but not joined. I didn’t like your role in one and two but now I’m cool with it. No wonder Elizabeth felt that way for you.

Captain Jack Sparrow said to Capt. Turner that “death has a curious way of reshuffling one’s priorities.” I agree. It does. What looked so important may no longer mean anything.

One of my favorite  Conversations …

David Jones: Do you fear death?

Captain Jack Sparrow: You’ve no idea

The Jamaican woman. Calypso. I love her accent but the crabs went overboard!!! I mean it.

I want to say a lot more but you’ll always remain a favorite.

Savvy…

Nowadays I Just Swallow My Words …

It feels like I’m in a cocoon of some sort. But I’ll get used to it. Bottling up hurtful words is no joke!!! Why did I let those words grow on me in the first place? I don’t like to cuss. But I care about your feelings so I won’t hurt them. Relax, my friend.

Oh, and about that Kenyan Video Vixen, forget it. She can do whatever she wants with her things. The truth is it’s her life and I have no business whatsoever in giving my very loud opinions. Oh no! I’m not taking back what I wrote because I believe in it but please don’t follow me. I want to smile but all my blogging time will be wasted on smiling. And any post I published about a particular person is now DE-published!!! Well’ I’m not pulling them down yet (don’t wait for reasons) but don’t borrow that posted advice. It worked for me because of my situation and then I was so into judging. If that’s who you are, be my guest but don’t say you weren’t warned. Now, do whatever makes you tick; it’s your life … Too bad, I wish I were truly sorry. I will apologize in person, but right now, you can’t touch this…

Faith is real. I am experiencing it right now. Why am I saying this? I’ve just encountered something similar after naturopathy, acupuncture, pyhsio, gym and whatever crap docs told me to do… How do these sages make it? I’m still wondering… But imagine the stuff works…

Oh God!!! Get a dictionary for God’s sake! Stop asking me obvious questions …

I hate the gym… It’s so tiring, God!!! I love shortcuts. And those men who think I love them ABS can shove those bad thoughts somewhere I don’t want to mention. I do like your ABS but I’m not going to sleep with you because you have ABS. No! You should see my gym instructor’s ABS!!! Big ABS and nothing in your pants is a Hell No!!! Don’t ever talk to me if you lack seven inches and above in your pants… You are wasting my precious time. There are so many women!!! Why me? Who told you I need small things for making babies? And the next few years are mine to handle? No, I don’t think so.

There are women who will take anything. Sorry, I have high standards.

And no!!! This is not about you. People tend to think stories are about them. Not really!!! Oh! I just hurt you, God!!! I’m so sorry … I didn’t mean that.

Okay, I meant it alright and I’m not sorry. God!!! Grow up!!! I don’t kiss ***. Not really.

Blogging is fun!!! Why didn’t I start early?

Now, sharks!!! I’m so afraid of deep sea diving. I’m obsessed with water, but this diving business is making me shudder! Now, who’s gonna dive with sharks? Seriously, I don’t work FOR NATGEO I think I’ll pass. I’ll dive in the protected marine park. Ocean business is strictly professional and thank God I’m not one, a professional. Hehehe… Talk about a lifeline…. And pictures are a must!!!

This brings me to selfies. Like seriously … never wait for me to take a picture of me and post it online…

One: I don’t sell clothes I wear. It’s totally okay if you do.

Two: The APA said selfies is a disease of some sort. Well, groundies here I come. You doubt my words? And yet you use APA for for referencing. The selfie disease has not infected me. I doubt if it will… I’ll get you the link because you doubt me. Let me get it now.

Here: adobochronicles.com

You can also Google … APA on Selfies …

You call me a hater. No, I’m not. I’m just trying to make you understand situations, but calling me a hater doesn’t hurt me. I stand for what I believe is right. If I’m wrong, correct me, but make sure you have a sound basis not something you read somewhere.

You know blogging does not necessarily make what I’m saying to be true for everyone. I’ve read blogs on the internet and while the pieces are flawless, I may not follow your advice. Most of it is done just to blog.

In other news: I don’t chat via FaceBook inbox. I tried it once and with bad results. If my chat is on for you,  Good. Try emailing. Maybe I’ll listen to you. If you don’t have my number, it means I don’t need you yet in my life.

The Joy of Life…

Thermophiles produce some of the bright colors of Grand Prismatic Spring, Yellowstone National Park (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I guess after the worst attack of a disease, comes life in full force. Thank God it’s not Ebola… (I am laughing so loud)

Don’t worry fellas, I was in a similar quagmire and came out just fine. Ok… a bad disease, believe me. I am still going for acupuncture so yeah… it was bad!!!

I remember I didn’t care about how I looked when I was sick, but now it matters a lot. And you need people to stand by you when you are going through hell. Because then you care less. You are carefree and can even put on pajamas for the doc!

Someone who pretends to stand by you with Godly words and yet he or she is aloof is not worthy of you or your company in the end. I’ve realized that people forget you will get well. They do not want association of any kind, but that’s stupid. And human too… but excusable for the neighbors and other far relations not close persons.

God! These people want me to be nicer… to stop the abusive words and try to be nice so that they pay me for my blog. I really don’t feel like being nice to anybody, but the check sounds so good. Whatever !!! Keep your mullah. This blog is personal.  I can almost imagine all the shopping I was about to do especially online. I rarely have time to browse offline stores. Either I’m too lazy or I don’t like their outfits because they are so cliché. God!

I have taste! That I know and my taste comes at a cost. Seriously, I’d rather have 3 blazers that I won’t see elsewhere than common things. But there are a few exceptions to the rule… of course… like cars… too bad blogging gives you a “J” when you need a smiley face and I really don’t feel like Googling anything right now…

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

~ George Bernard Shaw

On that note, I’ve been on YouTube and I’m scared. Terrified is more like it! What world do we live in? The satanic things and illuminati non-sense better be that, non-sense!

I cannot imagine my favorite artists being crucified because of Satanism. I love them to death and I won’t stop because of some stupid video. I love the music and it makes me be me…

But let me reserve some benefit of the doubt for that…

Now. Robin Williams… suicide? Oh! This is bad! But no, I won’t try to joke here… knowing the way I was in love with Mrs. Doubtfire … sigh …

Shit happens!

Have you ever noticed that there’s nobody who's going to tell you that a group of enemies told him that… blah… blah… It’s always a group of friends… So be careful of those you call your friends. They can influence you in a bad way. I know this for a fact. But, how? Well,  a certain French boy thought he could fly after popping some ecstasy pills. And the friends encouraged the flying and now he’s dead!

Hehehe… beware of friends!!! This line makes me laugh, but it’s so true… Jesus! If you only see what corrections I’m getting from the Ms-Word application because of the first one word of laughter!

On another note, Injera is not just a name!!! God! I thought Collins Injera was one of our heroes… Injera is Ethiopian food!!! And tourists love the strangest Kenyan food!!!