Of Funny Things …

I just realized that some of my pictures will never see the light of day if I do not make room for them. Why do I download them? You’ll know why when you see them.

Of course, social media is full of hilarious posts and I get mine there, but instead of making them screensavers, why not share? I think this is a great idea!

So, without further ado, here we go:

Imagine the shriek that a baby can’t let out! Babies can be so loud!

 

On Nelson Mandela. I just can’t imagine someone would be so stupid to post such a picture and say such things.

My advice: Silence is golden!

I mean, that’s an actor! I doubt he’s ever been to Africa! I’m sure he really laughed to see this post on the internet. I did too.

If the point was to make fun, fun acknowledged! (Sorry to the affected persons. You know, apparently this was someone’s grandpa! )

But, you do get why it is funny. The picture does not match! Africa is also not one country!

Graduation is so boring. I think that post deserves a medal. Maybe yours was okay and not so boring. The only good in that ceremony was the pictures, the company, the procession and the throwing of hats. The speeches were just boring but necessary to officiate the process. I wish someone gave such a speech!

This is just a drawing. Stop worrying. If it was real life, I'd tell you to run and call the firefighters!

I know that not everyone believes in astronomy. Actually, most of it is crap, but, some of it is quite true. Yeah, hate me but, the first bible was the Zodiac. I don’t think stupidity led those people to think so. There is stupid and there is truth. Compare it to the stereotypes. They had a point, but I am not saying you go ancient. Stars are part of astronomy.  You actually look at them at night and identify the patterns! Just believe your thing and let others be.

(By the way, what is the difference between astrology and astronomy?) … It is rhetorical!

If you got the joke, kudos.

I won't talk about watermelons. I don't want some people to hurt.

Who did this? This is so bad! And hilarious! I hope I’m not being a sadist here! … I heard that people who laugh at the smallest things have an underlying problem. Maybe, I have a problem!

I give this guy the genius medal hands down. Our forces need such people to deal with them …

I told you excuses are bad! Never ignore people. They can do shocking things to get your attention!

This photo kinda reminds me of someone. Yeah, yeah, I judged, then, but I think this is funny.  I realized I have serious flaws and won’t point fingers at anybody but if that thing is funny, I will laugh and laugh hard! Well, not to that person’s face! I don’t want to hurt them. No! The action makes for a good laugh, not the person doing it.

I guess we look at things we used to do and laugh at our silliness. It is good to be silly sometimes. It provides comic relief to those who need it so I guess it is a good thing.

What a funny lie! There are so many untruths here in this picture. Lies can be hilarious on paper. In real life, you won’t get away with it so easily. Let me just keep quiet because...  

Anybody with a thing for cats will laugh at this. If you are a dog person, don’t bother. If you love both, I know you get why this picture is funny. Caffeine will definitely make those eyes big! I sincerely love this picture.

The cartoon is funny in itself, but I’d rather spend my time telling you about King Julien. Call it “preferences”. The words are real, but they just lost meaning when the cartoon got my attention!

If you have watched any Harry Potter movie or read any book, then you will get why this is funny. Ignore it if you don’t understand. By the way, you don’t have to get it.

Well, this is funny to everyone! Very unexpected!

You see why NatGeo terrifies me ...

Things are not peachy!

Don't believe everything you read. The internet is a vast world of lies and truths. Caution would be good ...

Wow! I am so inspired! I don't hate dogs. I am just into other pets more.

Not everything is done so that you live. Trust your inner guidance. Even those who mean well can put you in danger. They also may not know it.

Enough already! I can upload lots of funny stuff, but too much of everything is poison. Thank me later.

I’ve thought about these pictures and decided they are better off posted because no post will take these kindly. Except one! There is always an exception to the rule. I cannot start to tell you something I think is funny about graduation, or Mitchell or a robbery waiting to happen. I don’t have the five hundred or so words to explain such pictures in extreme detail. Maybe, I can but I think first things first. These things are funny but, they don’t deserve whole posts. Well, except the “cartoon” and the “old photo”.

Indulge!

Hard Work

I almost forgot to update this blog. Nowadays it is such a joy to post something here. Before, this was hard work. Maybe that explains why the blog was started in my free time. I hope everything else works out this way. I mean, start funny and end awesomely. I think the start to anything is always the hardest part.

When you get used to it, it becomes normal to do whatever it is you are doing. Getting into the routine is such a chore. Giving up really looks good at this point.

Now I get why hard work, works in the end. I mean, real hard work. It is not really hard if you look at it. The start is the hard bit. The rest is simple.

I guess the trick with hard work is to make small steps first and wait for no result. Give it time, it eventually works.

I believe discipline is what gets you going. It also keeps you going even when the odds are against you. This is where real support pushes you forward. Yeah, you are no island …

That reminds me, you know there are people who buy Islands! I also know someone who bought off his neighbors’ property so that he could not have neighbors near him. Gosh!

Anyway, they have their reasons. I probably don’t understand because I’m not there yet.

I think privacy may be the core reason. Talk of overdoing privacy!

Anyway …

I guess those who were bought off were given a lot for their property so they cannot complain. I am sure documents exchanged hands then. But, flaws are there. I have them. You have them so I guess mine are no better than yours so, yeah …

I would like to work on mine … If you are comfortable with yours, whatever … Maybe one day they will become sores that you cannot ignore.

I was saying something on hard work. How I got off the wagon, I have no idea …

Hard work is so boring but so rewarding. I think I should stop being lazy. That said, I won’t stop loving cats soon. I love the way they sleep for hours. Call it lazy, I don't care. I mean, they don’t bug anybody and they don’t go to work. Let them sleep.
If I don’t work, I will die hungry. I can’t have that. Thank God for stomachs!

How people diet amazes me … I wouldn’t want to be in those shoes. Let me eat steroids if I have to. Fortunately, I don’t have to. You know, you can gain weight, keep fit and all that crap in the gym. By the way, it is good.

Forget the show offs, do your thing. Show offs are so many! Everywhere not just when exercising. Ignore them. They just have an inferiority complex or a superiority complex and they have to show off in order to feel good. But, ensure that you are not getting personal. It clouds your judgment.

Anyway, actions will always betray such people. So, relax and watch. Enjoy the show.

But, if you are jealous, you need to tone down that greenness. Sometimes, you may mistake someone to be a show off but in the real sense, you are just green with envy.

Work on yourself and forget other people who don’t matter. Most likely, they’ll go home and leave you in peace.

The show offs think you are jealous while you think they have a problem. I think this is a win-win situation no matter how you look at it!
I am sure you really turn green when the show offs do their thing! Yeah, it pisses you because you really become green!

Jesus! Let me say Adios because hard work just keeps losing its meaning with every sentence I construct.

Thoughts, yeah … so random!

Now, my mind is blank and I don’t want to force words. So, I guess this is it …

Of Good Reads and Terrible Ones …

Sooo … I guess frequent blogging is the in thing. That reminds me of a certain blog. I think I am getting addicted. It is witty, funny and just stupid. But, I can’t help noticing that the blogger doesn’t care about the serious mistakes he’s leaving behind. He’s a genius. A real genius. Maybe I will tell him to mind the mistakes (atacatch …) (Translation: He’ll get all emotional and stuff …) and then continue reading his work. I believe if he only corrects those mistakes, that guy will become untouchable. I think he’s not stupid, so he’ll ignore his emotion and clean up the good work. And, going by his work, he isn’t a dumbass.

I have tried to create a new blog elsewhere and my blog name is taken. How sad! I know of people who do business with blog names. You have to pay to use that particular name. They can keep the name. I believe the contents show the difference.

 By the way, thank you my friend for sharing this link I am talking about. Because of this and several other immeasurable things you have done for me, blessings are going to overflow for you (how correct is that English?)… Never mind the English; as long as you get the drift, I guess any corrections will be done with time.

This guy has stood (apparently I have to correct this sentence but I won’t. What do I write in place of “stood”? “Been standing”? Note to self: uninstall this spell checker ASAP!) by me through thick and thin. He deserves a medal. He is among several others who, for privacy reasons, I won’t mention their names. God bless all of you abundantly. I mean it. Nothing on the face of the earth can repay you. Only one thing can. And, that is blessings. And, so out of my reach. I like that.

I think people do things without thinking of the future impact. Whether negative or positive, take it without any pinch of salt. It is a worthy experience in the end.

I believe that you should never look at your friend and ignore them because they look ignorable. (That word looks questionable, but oh well …) I can attest to this.

Once someone wrote on my wall about the way people ignored her because she looked ignorable. Right now, you can’t touch her. If you want details, I suggest that you get over your curiosity because I’m not going to tell you anything more. By the way, who came up with “curiosity” and “cat” in the same sentence? That person doesn’t know a cat has nine lives? It is very hard to kill a cat. I’m not saying that you go on a killing spree to prove a point. I will take up issue with you if you harm God’s lovable animals. I mean, why would you want to harm a cat? I'm shocked!

About the true story I told you about, I guess this saying comes in handy.  Never judge a book by its covers (or cover …). Literally and also not so literally! I have read very boring books that had flashy covers and very interesting books that had no covers or their original covers were an eyesore. Like there is one I am reading right now, which is making me tear up laughing. The cover is hideous! I don’t know who came up with it. He or she needs a lesson or two in art! The contents of this book are a delight.

I have noticed that reading is quite enjoyable, especially if what you are reading augurs well with you and your varied tastes. I also have quite the taste and I like it. It defines me. If you are reading something which bores you out of your mind, stop! Chances are that you will stop reading entirely.

I remember recently telling my cousin to not bring me any book on politics. Politics bores me to death. Okay, reading it. I would rather witness fights and tantrums on camera. But reading it … that’s a waste of time for me. I would be doing something useful with that time. Like, reading a good book that is not political. But, I accommodate biographies of politicians very well.

My friend once told me that biographies are really good. I concur.

In other news: What went down with Boko Haram abductions?

Please, I Need Space …

Now, what to say …

I’m so blank it hurts and what is in my mind is too personal to say.

Oh, well … maybe another time … (unspecified time lapse)

Oh, yeah … now I can type …

Have you ever had that person who crowds your space? It is like everywhere you turn, they want in. I don’t know if you understand me, but you need time alone and this person or people do not get that. In most cases, you try to please such people so that you can have your peace. Now, I get why so many people would rather please others. Not that it is good. I think it is crazy. Anyway, that’s me.

Unfortunately, I am the exact opposite. I will tell you to go to hell and do what toots my horn. (I think I am bad news! Or maybe I am bitter at someone or some people. Who knows?)

I do not intend to push people away, but this attention is killing me. Or am I delusional? It is not faking anything when I say I hate attention, rather it is annoying. Nowadays I just pray I never have visitors, but, what a futile thing! Visitors are good. I mean it. I just wish they came to see someone else not me!  The masses just keep coming. I don’t know what to do now. I believe my close friends are my world. Anyone else, ride on the friendship wave at your own peril.

Don’t blame me if you hit a wall. It was never my doing!

I feel like I am suffocating and I don’t like it. I need space … especially from strangers! Jesus!

The problem with such attention is that when you live your life, people want to weigh in and take control of your actions. When you deviate from the norm, it is like a floodlight of sorts is shining on you. One small misstep and everyone notices. I miss the good ole’ days of vagueness. You are part of the crowd and nothing shines on you. Mistakes or not, no one cares.

I didn’t know I had a rare privilege of being among the huge crowd. I deeply regret this “all eyes on you” thing. Unfortunately, I am not perfect. And strangers don’t get that. Trying to explain it to them is looking for sorrow.  And, mark my words, I won’t try to explain. Being imperfect is so good. Why would anyone need perfection? Only God is perfect in my world. I really like that disparity.

You know, even following the rules of man is not perfection. No!!! Just because you don’t do drugs, e.t.c. does not make you perfect.

I’m so confused, dear Lord! I need clarity ASAP! Or am I over thinking this?

Yeah, I know God says that we become perfect, but let’s face it, we try and fail miserably. Or is it just me? I need prayers! (Maybe I should singularize that first sentence of this paragraph)

Please don’t think this is doubt. I think I have faith. I don’t know if it is alive or dead!

But, there is a huge difference in someone who tries. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. People who don’t care (like me) are a danger. That’s why I don’t get all this fuss. I’m not good. Why won’t people see that?

You know, I’m no celebrity. I don’t want to be. I mean, what for? Fame is just trouble.  I don’t star in anything and I hope never to unless it is based on intellect and not some fancy thing. I believe it just brings all the wrong attention unless you work in Hollywood. Hollywood has a tendency to bring you good attention and bad attention in the tabloids. But maybe the cash solves all those attention problems. Who knows?

 But, when I look at those people, I see bravery. I see courage against all those flashing cameras and videos. Lupita Nyong’o has serious courage! Of course, there are many others, but I guess their lives are their own. Their lives matter less to me.

I mean, I love their achievements, but I don’t care about the people to cause me sleepless nights. (I hope I’m not being rude here. I’m just minding my own business!)

I like the style of these famous but hidden people. You rarely get any news about them unless you Google (Google knows stuff!) I like it better when I am just another person in a crowd. I mean, I can get away with anything.

“Careful” has never existed in my dictionary of words. I’m just careless ( or is it reckless) and I like it that way. But, make no mistake, if you lose your keys because of carelessness, I won't understand. I am not talking about that type of careless. Anyway, I guess I won’t force anything because the anything becomes worse!

How politicians make it (with all those lies), I have no idea!

I think these people have a talent of sorts! Crazy is my definition of them. Don’t go there if you don’t have talent! It is like throwing your entire self under the bus!

I guess, I’ll just be myself. Force nothing and let things be. Whether I like it or not, I’ll just be quiet and smile.

I don’t need issues on top of what I have. God, no!!!

I guess fitting in should stop now. Why try to be someone you are not? (Note to self) …

One word, exhausting!!!